We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
