In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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