Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Randomize
