What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize