we're chasing vodka with high fives
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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