How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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