apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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