The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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