just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
