At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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