How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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