I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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