Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
