there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
a search helicopter?!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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