3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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