even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
whose parrot is this?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
