lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
