Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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