You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
