dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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