talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
