Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
