She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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