peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
