you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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