I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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