I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
