So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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