apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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