stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
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I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
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I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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