If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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