yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
