Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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