So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
