Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
