so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
