I heard we made out
there was a trapeze. enough said
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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