who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
