We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
