i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Randomize
