we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Bring me that man meat
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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