Sponge bath it is.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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