I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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