my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
