Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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