Moan for me like Helen Keller
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
