Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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