just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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