TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
