Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start