i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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