after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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