Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
