guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
