In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
