Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
as a side note pls kill me
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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